I'm learning to jump.
This last year has been really painful but also a huge path of growth for me. Trying to keep a smile on your face for your children when your marriage is crumbling is pretty much the hardest thing I've ever had to do. In fact, I failed many times. Everyone from my best friends, to aquaintances, to strangers seems to have an opinion on your marriage once it fails. Some supportive and comforting, some very much the latter. I had to put on my big girl pants and decide my own truths. The sort that are between me and God, and let everyone else's go. I am turning 30 this summer and I am really feeling like I actually know who I am, where I want to go, and what's really important (and who!). There are still tough days, but for the most part, the chickadees and I are doing great.
I used to blog a lot more. I used to put myself out there and at some point started holding back a lot more. Maybe I needed that season of growth and maybe I cared too much what others might think. At some point you have to let go of that and just live your life for you.
Part of this freedom comes from the amazing guy by my side.
Roger is kind, soft spoken, and very intentional about everything he does, and everything he says. He trusts God with his whole heart. He picks me up when I fall to pieces. His eyes sparkle blue like the ocean and seem to smile on their own. He is known for his integrity and good character. He loves me for me.
Roger loves my three girls and they adore him. He has three children of his own, each one year older than mine, so at some point this winter we had children of ages: 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, & 2. Seriously. We do get stared at everywhere we go, and I do believe people flinch when we walk into a restaurant. However we also get a lot of compliments at the end of the meal. I think people are shocked we manage to hold it together. Roger once said to me, "If you can handle three.. and I can handle three.. WE can handle six." That's the kind of guy he is.
It's a delicate balance, creating a blended family, and we are trying to do it right. We are trying to be intentional about every decision. We are blessed that both sets of kiddos have two sets of parents around to help raise them and be active in their lives. I feel like I've gained so much love, a lot of laundry, and a whole lot of blessings.
We have been dubbed the Brady Bunch.. but Mrs. Brady had Alice.
